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Thread: Dad's gone

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    Dakota Dunes, SD
    Posts
    6,001

    Default Dad's gone

    My dad passed away at 6:07 last Sunday morning, Dec 8th. I didn't post about it here because... I don't really know. I guess I needed time to let it sink in. Plus the funeral was Thursday, so most of this week has been planning and executing the funeral. I got back home from my hometown a few hours ago. Sunday night I was sitting at the supper table just thinking and I wrote down my thoughts, which centered around the song "My Father's Chair" by Rick Springfield. Then I went to bed.

    The next morning my mother read what I had written and asked me about the song when I woke up, so I found a recording of it on YouTube. She decided that she wanted the song included in the funeral, so I bought it on iTunes and had my wife burn a few copies of it to CDs while we were at the mortuary planning the funeral. The song wound up being included in the funeral, and it really sounded great on the Church's PA system (reminder to self, buy a church).

    The hardest part of the whole ordeal was watching them close the casket, knowing this would be the last time I would ever see my father again. I'm an atheist, so my beliefs are when you die, you go back to the same state you were in before you were born. So I have no illusions that I'll meet him again when I die. So for me, I know this is the last time I will ever see my father. That was really hard, but it is what it is. I loved my dad. He loved me. I tried to spend as much time as possible with him since his diagnosis almost two years ago (lung cancer) because I knew once he was gone I wouldn't be seeing him again. My conscience is clear. I achieved what I set out to do, spend as much time with dad as I could. And, even though I couldn't be with him in his final hours, mom had told him that I wished I was there and that I loved him. I don't think I could have watched him take his last breath anyway. But I know that, thanks to lack of oxygen, everybody gets a really nice "dream" at the end. I hope his was brilliant.

    I'll always love my dad, and I won't forget him until I reach my final moments. Until then, I'll try to be there for my mother as much as possible, but my life's kind of been on hold for the past two years. It's time to get down to business and start living for myself a little too. I think that dad would approve.
    I love my guitar.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Richmond,VA
    Posts
    6,074

    Default

    I am so sorry for your loss...it is never easy to lose a parent especially during the holidays. I lost my stepfather 5 days before Christmas in 2000. even though 13 years has passed, it still hurts. Be there for your Mom, but be sure to take care of you too. Your friends are here for you. HUGS!!!
    live your life as if you have no tommorrow, take no one for granted, and never be afraid to say "i love you"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Monterey, California, USA
    Posts
    5,787

    Default

    Also very sorry to hear this. Like bassangel says, a tough time of year to lose someone and for some the pain can last a long time. Lost my dad in 06 and when I think about his passing sometimes, seems like only a few months ago. Never really made peace with him like you did though. In that way, you are fortunate. The way you describe him - you were lucky to have him as your dad.
    Sorry again.

    Jim P.









    .

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    1,578

    Default

    Sorry to here this my dad passed also
    ********************************
    www.jimmycrucifix.com

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    mass.
    Posts
    8,348

    Default

    dude,
    I am sorry for your loss. I think I am in agreement with you about the here-after. But 1 thing I am 1000% sure of...no matter if you die tomorrow or live to be 99, your love for your dad will never stop. Love is eternal and always will be there.
    You are a good man,Ross...and I'm pretty certain your dad would be proud of the man you grew up to be!

    Ian
    Last edited by ian; 12-15-2013 at 03:38 PM.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    Dakota Dunes, SD
    Posts
    6,001

    Default

    Thanks everyone. And you're right, Ian, Dad made it clear before he died that he was proud of me.
    I love my guitar.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    Dakota Dunes, SD
    Posts
    6,001

    Default

    Jimmy I'm sorry you lost your dad too. Let's all listen to "forever" for all the passed dads.
    I love my guitar.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    493

    Default

    Sorry for your loss, I lost my dad just over a year ago. It's still very hard especially on the holidays sometimes I'll hear a song or artist that he liked and I still lose it.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Ripon, CA
    Posts
    1,135

    Unhappy Sadness......

    I'm sad for you Ross and as you know, I know how you feel. Two years....we were both so lucky to have that much quality time. Hugs to you and even though I don't know the perfect words to say to comfort you, there really aren't any perfect words that can be said. I've been told it's going to hurt forever and I believe it.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Fleming Island, FL
    Posts
    1,179

    Default

    Very sorry, Donk. I think about the inevitable all the time because the candle is burning low. I can only expect to have my parents a few more years and it frankly scares the hell out of me.

    I actually DO believe you will see your father again, but I certainly respect your beliefs. Just hang in there and do your best to support mom.
    "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!" - Benjamin Franklin

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